2019 not only teach me about birth and new life, it also teach me about death and grief. Me and Ray lost our Mom, our beloved Mama Christina Tetty Passandaran on May 2019. 10 days after her birthday.
Sedih dan sangat kehilangan. Itu yang saya rasakan semenjak Mama meninggalkan kami. Apalagi karena sempat tinggal seatap, otomatis kami bertemu setiap hari. Saya sangat merindukan obrolan random dan mendalam bersama Mama (sambil menjaga anak-anak). Rindu didengar, dinasehati tanpa menggurui, dan rindu dengar suara tawa Mama. One thing I know for sure; trying to balance the feeling of pain and loss while going forward with your everyday life is freakin’ hard!
Our culture tells us to move past this process quickly, yet griefs as painful as season as it is, is a necessary part of our healing. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do; grief while keeping her memories alive. I also learn that probably 98% of your mood is mindset. It’s really stuck out to me so much; are you focusing on the good or the negative. And during this grief and loss feeling, I choose to focusing on the things I’m grateful for. Yes I lost Mama in 2019 but I also get the new life, the birth of my daughter. I know Mama Tetty will love this kind of positive thinking. After all, she’s the one who taught me to be more positive and repeatedly told me to trust my life in God.
Jojo – xx